This past year has been an interesting journey. The way I reflect what I feel can only be described as a paradigm shift from within. While I still find myself occasionally reverting to my old way of thinking and feeling, I see it, say ok, and then move on. Most importantly, I now feel more connected to the universe and liberated from myself.
Going out and interacted with people had become a source of anxiety. I knew I would be running into people who were negative, cared only about themselves, would look down on me or anyone else, be overly happy, sick and should not be out in public, and so on. I had made a personal list of reasons to stay home and stay away. I actually was being “jokingly” referred to as a hermit by some of my family and friends. I guess if you want to be technical I kind of was experiencing some form of agoraphobia or another phobia. People were a sickness and I wanted to stay away. Then a series of events happened that started a change.
I was listening to a photographer I like on youtube who started talking about her paradigm shift that made the difference in her career. She mentioned a book she read and I bought the book. The book talked about gratitude in a way that made sense to me. I was able to internalize what I read and started looking for more information about gratitude, patience, and peace.
The things I discovered were so amazing. I am sure I had heard or experienced some version of these messages my whole life but it seemed to be said just a little differently and it made sense. I belive the difference was that this time it was being said by people who believed it and delivered the message with kindness. Wow! What a concept. Not saying or believing because your religion, or your parents, or society says so but because you feel it intrinsically. I found my missing piece or peace.
At this moment I don’t have rules that are guiding me. I choose to be kind and grateful. I recognize my moods, feelings, and thoughts as valid and then choose to be grateful. Everything has validity.
Humankind is fallible and we all have struggles. We are all a part of the same ebb and flow. When I see you I recognize a piece of myself in you and great you as a part of me. I know what you feel is valid and then I say ok and the part that is me is grateful again.