In my last post I was explaining the process I go through to help me make a change in my life whether it be to start or finish anything, or to add or remove a habit.
I know my primary tendencies are to think that I am taking too long to accomplish my goal and therefore I am a failure. Once I realize that the amount of time I expect a change to take is just an arbitrary stipulation that doesn’t exist I find it easier to accomplish my goal.
When I realize that I have drifted away from my goal I no longer see it as a failure. It is an opportunity to continue. That moment when I was not working towards my goal is in the past. The past will never change but at this moment I am committed; I recommitted to my goal. Those are the two major obstacles I face but not the end of the obstacles I place in my path…
I have to say that comparing myself to others use to be a huge obstacle. Now it is just something I might catch myself doing. When we compare ourselves, our goals and the outcomes to others we most certainly are setting ourselves up for failure. It doesn’t matter if you are comparing yourself and saying, “Why can’t I be like her”, or “OMG! I am so much better at this than her”. Both can siderail your outcome.
When I compare myself to someone else it really isn’t fair to either of us. Of course I know my story but I don’t fully know theirs. They way we are is unique to us and no two people are just alike. You more than likely are not starting at the same exact point and probably not working towards the exact same end. How then can you compare yourself to someone else? Regardless of whether it seems like someone is achieving the goal you want to reach in a more elegant or timely manner that is only your perception. Maybe this voice that is admiring another seems quite innocuous but it actually is another way of being unkind to yourself. It is the equivalent of someone saying, “See what they can do? Why can’t you do that or be like them?” I don’t know about you but I don’t very much appreciate that attitude from anyone, not even myself. Once you realize you are doing that, recognize that a part of you feels that way. Then, turn around and celebrate who you are and what you accomplish without comparison to anyone else. You are someone to be honored and celebrated.
On the flipside there is that attitude that has to be reeled in. I can do it this way and this way is great so why can’t they just do it like this because their way is inferior. Yes you can celebrate yourself but to put yourself on a pedestal and believe you are better than others? I’m not sure I like to hang out with people who treat me that way so why would I want to be that way to others? Besides, elevating yourself to such great heights only gives you a greater distance to fall. No one ever really expects to fall. That is why it is falling. If you know it is going to happen you do something to avoid the situation and gently lower yourself in a controlled and safe way. Falling is an unexpected act. It can be simply a loss of balance or a plummeting-to-your-death experience. It is a great way to derail any progress you may have made towards a change. It can halt progress in its tracks and reverse your direction completely. I’ll stand on the ground, thank you very much. Leave the pedestals for someone else.
I am sure there are other little ways that hinder my progress but these are the greatest deterrents of which I am aware. Two posts and a lot of words to tell you that I find being compassionate to myself, living in the moment, and being grateful are the best ways I a have found to accomplish a goal. I guess I consider these my super powers. Now if I could just figure out how to fly…
May you be happy today!